20.

Who are you, Dalila?

19. All sorts of feelings

So I went for a solo dinner right after the goal setting for my usual runs of new fitness program. The food was aaaalright, but my my the green tea latte was A+. Don't get me started on the almond salted caramel mille crepe you guiseee.

I was digging the playlist too, and it kinda add a whole new dimension to it, you know? The people was crazy kind and I was reminded why I love the things that I love. Things that made me, me. They played What A Catch Donnie and at some point I felt like belting out "Growing up, growing up" for no effin' reason, but I can't.

I was the only customer at the cafe too and it was such an experience I'd like to relive again.
--

Funny how I almost always remember to write only when I am not at my best.
Also, thought I should let you know that I met someone whom I initially thought was super mediocre at his best but I got flipped 180.

He is humble, but out of this world kind of guy that I would love to get to know more of.
And me being a girl (and also a Dalila), starts to sorta plan out things before we even begin? Ha! Classic me.

So found out something not so pleasant and I best stay away for now, or ever for that matter. I do not want to get involve in winning someone over someone else ever again. It is exhausting and emotionally draining.

--

This week has been super challenging. Work wise, life after work and most importantly to my tiny little heart.

New Found Glory was in town, and yo gurl right hurr just missed them BIG TIME. BOO, I SUCK!

xx,
D.

18. We're in the future: 2015

It is raining outside so let me nurse my (yet another) broken heart for a bit.
I can't deny that 2014 has been the most wonderful, amazing, fantastic year, but also an overwhelming one at that.
I'd like to call it the "Almost" year.

Gambar tiada kaitan but ohmygod i love the shoes!! BEST FIND EVAR. *pats self*

The year where I almost finally dated someone officially. (Thank God we grew apart fairly quickly because I can't believe I almost... decided to just settle with someone I cannot connect with)
The year where I almost reached my ultimate weight goal.
The year where I thought  I finally found a guy that I can connect with on SO many levels, and at least on my side I thought that we did connect for a bit that we almost got ourselves into a sorta casual relationship. But I was the third-wheel. Exciting and heart breaking at the same time because I am really into that particular guy.
The year where I almost ended my single status.


Looking back this is the most exciting year for my previously non-existent lovelife. Lets toast to that shall we?

--
But above all that, I managed to keep on my 2014 resolution - to keep at it. I lost quite a number of my initial weight doing all the healthy stuff, I got featured in a magazine for my weight loss journey - something that I NEVER in a million years thought that would frikkin happen!, I play real sports now, I ran 15km, I completed my first ever obstacle run, I proved to myself I am capable of doing more than what I thought I could. All praise to Allah. Alhamdulillah.

You know what, this can be as cheesy as it gets - I actually write down to know love and to be in love on last year's vision board. I guess I got that too.

Can I, this time around have the real thing?
I am sick of having to pick up myself again and again. I don't want to be that Almost girl forever, i had enough of that shizz.

God, I am turning into those melodramatic hopeless romantic poop heads. Kill me now.

So here's to 2015, as @iwrotethisforyou tweeted:
"May the worst of your future things be better than your previous best things". Aaah I found solace in that statement. So much love and positivity all around *hugs self*

17. A toast to things that I forget.

I forget things.

I often times forget the wonderful side of me when I was in distress. // I forget that I sing. // I forget that I play. //I forget that I observe. //I forget that I enjoy indulging in minute, tiny things. //I also forget that I write.

Turning a new leaf in a couple of days and somehow this feels like a big deal. I am a big girl now, I can't blame things when they don't go my way. I can't be whiny (well I can...but I am the one who need to pick me up anyway); I need to be my own superhero for reals this time.

And here I am penning down my thoughts, trying to sound witty in my small-ish living room (and messy, but let's saves that up for another day, shall we?). What makes me happy these days?

I am thankful for Moggie the cat, I am thankful for each and everyday that I get to see my boys when I get home, I am thankful that even that at my age, I am still single - I can still call my girlfriends up and do stuff, I am thankful for my health, I am thankful for my new routine, I am thankful for my challenging job that is never boring, I am thankful for my increasing confidence (although, there are times I feel like I am not enough), I am thankful for the rezq' that Allah never fails to blessed me with, I am thankful for my taste in music. I am thankful for myself.

Here's a toast to things that I (often times) forget and more to things that I will discover. (and remember)

 Love,
 D.

16. ____

Bumped into the ex-way-back-when last week, thought of saying Hi because he was alone, but when I finally had the courage to do so, the whole family barged in and it got super awkward - I chickened out, paid my pants and hurried out of the store (It took me like what - 10 mins to decide on a new bottom after I spent countless WEEKS researching online just so I can get out of the store as fast as I can without looking super awkward.) Nasib baik seluar tu fits me properly. *Go Dal!*
--
I haven't seen him in eons. We bumped into each other once but he made me feel invisible and at the time I was really ...sad? But this time around, meh. Just awkward because yeah, but overall... meh.
--

You know sometimes I wonder how the heck I can run a blog with at least 500 posts and consistently updates it every other day previously for years. Not even weeks and now I can barely do the same thing! I thought I have something to say hahaha I mean it was like... there, but now it feels like nothing much?

Maybe I should talk about Raya since my last post was about Ramadan. It has been awfully quiet this year, but a good kind yanno? Had our first Raya at home and we planned out the day with our own activities, which was kinda cool looking back. No one's forcing us to eat rendang for the ummpteenth times and yeah, that was kinda nice. Not to say that I hate celebrating Eid in the conventional ways, but we changed our routine a little and it feels just alright. A snug alright.

I even made a point to have my Raya runs - the second and third day. With my grandma. Top that!

By the by, I haven't seen Abah yet. Should make a point to do that. Soon.
--
I have completed my first 15km last Sat, and looking back I think it is possible for me to do my first half marathon, and complete a full marathon some time next year. Something about running soothes me. Eceh.

Soooo. My first Color Run this Sunday!! Supafrikkinexcited.

Love,
D.

15. Ramadan 28th.

I had coffee at 11 PM. Wrong move, now I can't sleep and I have 6 km run tomorrow, lord have mercy on me! Swamped with work, and overwhelmingly trying to be OK at things such as having a controlled breakdowns i.e less crying for no apparent reason because I am trying to move on from something that clearly doesn't need my attention, but I do it anyways because I'm melodramatic liddat. What is D without drama, yes?

Honestly, this year's Ramadan brought so much. So much so, I don't even know where to begin. I always loved Ramadan, it's my frikkin fav month! Always bearing good news. However, it took a turn this year with the Gaza news and MH17 :( (and my silly broken hearted drama) but i know it is for the best, inshaAllah.

First Eid with a proper preparation I guess. I'm surrounded by so many inspiring beautiful people I can't sit still! I want to finish my 50km challenge (I ran half already!), I want to paint my house (hmmm... changed my table cloth, that's a start right?) -- see, busy D is busy! Busy is good yes?

I am content with my job now, Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah. Allah is the best planner. At times I do feel like I'm losing hope, but indeed Allah is the best planner. 

All in all, everything is a-OK, Alhamdulillah. Heart is healing, hope Allah is always with me because I suck as a servant, always forgetting my Creator when things are looking up. InshaAllah, Allah is the best planner. Ameen.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Love,

point5kittykat.

14. Ms. Liberty

Wow, cheesy much? Anyhoo, I am back! (sorta). I've been good. 2014 has been mental, look it we're at the middle of the year already! I think I achieved a lot. Lost a few pounds, getting fitter, I CAN PLAY SPORTS NOW like real sports I even played for my city for a league back in February. I mean whaaa--- me? I went for a hike for a couple of times and I ran 10K marathon, twice. (and psst -- i almost dated someone too.) 'Almost'. I learn something though: It feels good to choose who I'd spent my time with, and it feels somewhat liberating when you put yourself first. Sigh, almost. Beeteedubs - RAMADHAN KAREEM!! MY MOST FAVORITE MONTH IS HEREEEEE!! <3 Bye.