18. We're in the future: 2015

It is raining outside so let me nurse my (yet another) broken heart for a bit.
I can't deny that 2014 has been the most wonderful, amazing, fantastic year, but also an overwhelming one at that.
I'd like to call it the "Almost" year.

Gambar tiada kaitan but ohmygod i love the shoes!! BEST FIND EVAR. *pats self*

The year where I almost finally dated someone officially. (Thank God we grew apart fairly quickly because I can't believe I almost... decided to just settle with someone I cannot connect with)
The year where I almost reached my ultimate weight goal.
The year where I thought  I finally found a guy that I can connect with on SO many levels, and at least on my side I thought that we did connect for a bit that we almost got ourselves into a sorta casual relationship. But I was the third-wheel. Exciting and heart breaking at the same time because I am really into that particular guy.
The year where I almost ended my single status.


Looking back this is the most exciting year for my previously non-existent lovelife. Lets toast to that shall we?

--
But above all that, I managed to keep on my 2014 resolution - to keep at it. I lost quite a number of my initial weight doing all the healthy stuff, I got featured in a magazine for my weight loss journey - something that I NEVER in a million years thought that would frikkin happen!, I play real sports now, I ran 15km, I completed my first ever obstacle run, I proved to myself I am capable of doing more than what I thought I could. All praise to Allah. Alhamdulillah.

You know what, this can be as cheesy as it gets - I actually write down to know love and to be in love on last year's vision board. I guess I got that too.

Can I, this time around have the real thing?
I am sick of having to pick up myself again and again. I don't want to be that Almost girl forever, i had enough of that shizz.

God, I am turning into those melodramatic hopeless romantic poop heads. Kill me now.

So here's to 2015, as @iwrotethisforyou tweeted:
"May the worst of your future things be better than your previous best things". Aaah I found solace in that statement. So much love and positivity all around *hugs self*

17. A toast to things that I forget.

I forget things.

I often times forget the wonderful side of me when I was in distress. // I forget that I sing. // I forget that I play. //I forget that I observe. //I forget that I enjoy indulging in minute, tiny things. //I also forget that I write.

Turning a new leaf in a couple of days and somehow this feels like a big deal. I am a big girl now, I can't blame things when they don't go my way. I can't be whiny (well I can...but I am the one who need to pick me up anyway); I need to be my own superhero for reals this time.

And here I am penning down my thoughts, trying to sound witty in my small-ish living room (and messy, but let's saves that up for another day, shall we?). What makes me happy these days?

I am thankful for Moggie the cat, I am thankful for each and everyday that I get to see my boys when I get home, I am thankful that even that at my age, I am still single - I can still call my girlfriends up and do stuff, I am thankful for my health, I am thankful for my new routine, I am thankful for my challenging job that is never boring, I am thankful for my increasing confidence (although, there are times I feel like I am not enough), I am thankful for the rezq' that Allah never fails to blessed me with, I am thankful for my taste in music. I am thankful for myself.

Here's a toast to things that I (often times) forget and more to things that I will discover. (and remember)

 Love,
 D.

13.

It's a lonely life if you'd ask me
You fits into your jeans
You'd buy expensive things
Heck, you dine-in fancy

But it's a lonely life you see
If all that's done with you and you only
No friends to ask for a movie
No lover to spend a night watching Netflix

--

I've even lost the appetite to express myself, because honestly, what's the point?


After midnight,
Shah Alam.