9. Stars

I miss stargazing, especially my uni's dark skies.

--
I'm sad at the world. I'm sad that not enough people is paying attention at things that matter. Egypt matter, people who get killed matter, people who were ordered to kill (and they need to follow it) matter. My religion matter. Pleasing Him matter. Being a good person deep inside matter. Being a more considerate person matter. Being less racist freakin' help a lot.

Not enough people see that.
I'm sad that all we think about now or rather all we are surrounded now are things that makes us forgetful. We forget that we belong to the world, that every one of us is important. We forget that there are more to life than just concerts. We forget that there are more to life than climbing the social ladder, being 'cool' etcetera. We forget that we are capable of being more than what we are now. We forget that we can live without the latest gadgets. We forget that status quo is just bullish and it will fade some day. We forget that being pretty is pure superficiality at its best. We forget, we forget, we --forget.

--

I'm just sad that we look forward to a date, which in reality, there's no guarantee we'd live the minute after. Allah. I'm just sad. :c

8. Eid

Eid Mubarak!

Raya this year has been extremely weird, given the fact that it seems everybody (not only just me, wow) are going through changes and they show. Gone are the days where we would share the cold wooden floor for our heads to lay on at night, the crazy queue waiting for out turns to the bathroom - way back was the queue to the well, trust me when I say this, I grew up for a few years fighting of being one of the first few; everyone is getting married (excluding moi, I'm too modern for that (for now)) and getting at least one mini me each year? Ha! so the house we came to know and grew up in during Raya is now, empty... to say the least.

I'm sad, kind of. I haven't been celebrating Eid with the parents since I was 16? I think. And all I always got were (are?) my brothers. We formed a strong bond with our extended family since arwah ibu left us, and the fact that everything is so different now, saddens me.

This, is not what I intend to write but I guess I'm melodramatic like that.
--
I resigned. I love my job, but my health can't take it. Or maybe that's only a reason I use to get away from this.

I am lucky I'm given the third chance to be at peace with my career choice. Every struggle brings me closer to what I (or think? I) want. Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best. It truly feels hard this time around, maybe because I took a liking into my wacky team so much, we got closer for every breakdowns we had and I just broke the news yesterday. Have not got the finalized end date yet, but I am glad I did it.
--
Maybe, when I'm free enough I'd list down how wonderful it is being (/turning) a mid-twenty simpleton, with everything in place except maybe, a romantic relationship (ew- but yes it is time? :P).

Man, I'm old.